As a dad who’s done it all at Disney World, trust me: These “must dos” are pretty overrated. Save time (and the kids from complaining) and skip them on your next visit.
Disney Dads know the truth: The only real “must-dos” at Walt Disney World are the ones so anointed by your own family. That’s the way it goes. Your kids can flash you the big ol’ Bambi eyes, and you will promise the moon, the stars and a 90-minute wait for the latest ride of their dreams. That’s the gig. If their wish is to ride “it’s a small world” on repeat, then that’s just what you’re going to do, even if it means the Sherman Brothers are your perpetual earworm. However much we may love to plan, make no mistake: You and I are not truly in command here. We carry the bag with the water bottles in it. The kids run the show.
But what about all of the other Disney Dads (and Moms) in your life? They’re always chipping in with helpful advice and a good word for their favorites. Family, friends, well-intended Disney blog writers… all of them work to make their must-do list your own. I’m as guilty as the next guy, but today I’m going to make it right by clearing some space from your day by taking one thing off your must-do list from each park. (Caveat: I do not outrank the aforementioned Bambi eyes, so you’re still going to the Frozen photo-op, big guy).
Before you start sharpening your angry-letter-writing-quill, let me preface these unpopular opinions by reminding you that they are just that – opinions. These aren’t “must don’ts”, just attractions that are more skippable than their reputation would have you believe. But since we stopped demanding that these chestnuts play a guaranteed starring role in every Disney Visit, life has been that little bit more magical. Your mileage may vary.
1. Tomorrowland Speedway at Magic Kingdom
Photo by Cliff Wang
Do you like waiting in line in the blazing sunlight, reeking of fuel and listening to a cacophony of engines that sound like an angry wasp nest being run over by an aggressively souped-up lawnmower? Then maybe Tomorrowland Speedway is for you after all! As for the ride itself, do you enjoy being in a ride vehicle that smashes back and forth in a manner that invites you to call Space Mountain “delicate”?
In all fairness, my family and I had fun on this ride and probably will ride it again, but a “must-do” it is not.
2. Na’vi River Journey at Animal Kingdom
Together with the whole of the wildly expansive Pandora area of Animal Kingdom, this often-touted Disney World “must-do” proves that “bioluminescent” is not a synonym for “fun.” Of all of the dark rides at Disney, this may be the most overrated.
Once you get over the initial surprise of the Pandora jungle that glows in the dark like a yard sale at James Cameron’s house, there’s not much to keep Na’vi River Journey in the “must-do” slot besides the frequent use as a consolation prize for not standing for hours in the queue for the still-wildly-popular Flight of Passage.
3. Living with the Land at EPCOT
Photo by Cliff Wang
We are deeply sentimental about Living with the Land, but it’s hard to justify keeping something on the “must do” list that you could actively nap through. If an attraction best described as the love child of a long, slow boat ride and a painfully earnest social studies project sounds like your cup of tea, then by all means, enjoy.
The truth is, we almost always include it because the queue is generally not that long, and it does hold happy memories (especially for longtime Disney Dads), but a must-do it is not.
4. Alien Swirling Saucers at Hollywood Studios
Poor Alien Swirling Saucers. This attraction sits in a spot where everybody wants to be, on the way towards where everyone wants to go. Seems like a good spot to be a mildly mediocre ride? Sure, location is everything I guess, but this overly complicated, next-generation take on the Mad Tea Party just ends up being forgotten when in proximity to the super-fun Slinky Dog Dash and the classic Toy Story Mania.
Even the Toy Story themed restaurants fall higher on my own must-do list. To say nothing of the fact that it’s right beside the gate to Galaxy’s Edge, which your family is likely keen to reach. If you did just kind of forget to ride this one next time, that wouldn’t be that bad, would it?
