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The Great Dole Whip Conspiracy
by Dad (The Office)
There is a great Dole Whip conspiracy going on. I love conspiracy theories.
I think you’ve been listening to too much Buffalo Springfield
“Paranoia strikes deep. Into your life it will creep. It starts when your always afraid…”
I heard you singing it just the other day.
Whatever you say Pigment… But didn’t I sing good?
Sure thing Dad… You sing real good.
I think Pigment’s a little cuckoo.
I heard that. I don’t even like Coco Puffs.
Yeah, like Pigment says, there’s a little paranoia going on in little Dad’s little world. Paranoia strikes deep…
Okay, so what’s going on? Dad has uncovered a Great Dole Whip Conspiracy?
Over the last few trips I’ve been noticing that there has been a little inconsistency in Dole Whips. I’m kind of a Dole Whip fiend.
For example, in November Mrs. Mom and I went to WDW for 6 days. The first 5 days we got a Dole Whip. (Missed the 6th Dad because Dad wanted to watch a silly football game.)
One thing I noticed was one day they would be nice and creamy, just like the Dole Whip you always get at Aloha Isle. It was just the perfect Dole Whip. The next day, they would be kinda like a Slushy. They taste good, but the consistency was different. They were grainy and slushy-like.
So what’s going on? Why grainy one day? Why slushy the next day? It just kept going back and forth. I even got a Slushy one at Aloha Isle on the “Secret Mission” trip.
I’ve been told that if you don’t churn the mix long enough, when it comes out of the machine it’s slushy , and then once it’s been churned long enough, then it turns into creamy.
Bunk! I know a little bit about chemistry and I’ve watched Iron Chef and Chopped and all those Food Network shows where they make ice creams, and I know a little bit about how ice cream is made, and that’s not the way it happens.
On the TV if you churn ice cream too long, it turns into butter, right? My assistant Stephanie keeps telling me, “No, no, no. It’s all about how long you churn it.” She might be right, but I think it’s a conspiracy. I think it’s a conspiracy and we need to look into it.
So what I want you to do is I want you to show me your Dole Whip. I want you to show me your pictures of Dole Whip.
Go for on the Dad’s Guide Facebook page, and if you’ve got a picture of a Dole Whip, show me how it looks. Is it Creamy or Slushy? Tell us which do you prefer? Creamy or slushy?